As I face this long battle to victory over cancer, I am every day sustained by the ministry of dear friends and sisters who thoughtfully and carefully support me. There are too many miracles to put in one letter, but I promise to one day write about all of them, for every act is worthy to be celebrated.
This week, I got my “amazing,” but not in a good way. Two phone calls of less than happy news about my cancer interrupted our anniversary getaway for at the beach. I quickly went from serenity to spirit-crushed. I hung up the phone, raised my hands and proclaimed my first line of defense to the sky – “I will praise You, Lord, even if the sun doesn’t shine!” I spoke out loud, but there was quiet inside as I considered what lie ahead.
I came home to find a pile of mail, one of which was a card from my dear friend, Christi, that said in big, bold letters – “COURAGE – STRENGTH – HOPE!” I texted her immediately, “Perfect timing!” And then there was a gift bag from SLOL prayer warrior, Rachel E. with a t-shirt that said “Stronger than cancer” (which I have worn 3 days in a row before finally sending it to the laundry bin), and a hand engraved “survivor” necklace with Isaiah 57:15. That totally blew me away (Remember – “A message from the high and towering God, who lives in Eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I live in the high and holy places, but also with the low-spirited, the spirit-crushed, and what I do is put new spirit in them, get them up and on their feet again.’”
Wow. God met me at the point of need through the praying sisterhood.
As the news sunk in, I found myself getting quieter and quieter, retreating into the safety of an invisible box to hide from fear. I smiled a little less. Stayed in a little more. (You know what I mean). And then shuffling through the house, I saw a small white card in the middle of the floor of our guest room, just staring at me and waiting to be picked up. I read the words and smiled big:
“I call on You, my God, for You will answer me; turn Your ear to me and hear my prayer. Show me the wonders of Your great love, You who save by Your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes (Psalm 17:6-7).
I have no idea where that little messenger came from, but it went immediately into my pajama pocket and is still there. I reach for it in the middle of the night as I sleep and as I walk the house in the morning. Only pajamas with pockets will do for me now for “I call on You, my God, for you will answer me” has become my morning mantra and my evening prayer.
The grace of God surprises me over and over in this journey. I am a Princess being dearly and intimately loved by her King. The chemo doctors tell me to expect cumulative fatigue, but I am walking every day in the midst of cumulative blessing.
My prayer for you as you read this is that you will let God love you today, right where you are. That He will give you the Scripture you need in this moment, the promise from Him you can depend on, believe in, and hope for with confidence. His love for you is lavish. Dwell in it and allow Him to dote on you. He is the King Who loves His beloved princesses.
Sing out loud in worship with me today! “Oh God, You are my God, and I will ever praise You.I will seek You in the morning, and I will learn to walk in Your ways. And step by step, You’ll lead me, and I will follow You, all of my days.” © Hillsong Music
Always Expect Amazing,