I am awake, staring at the ceiling at 4 AM, and the Lord is prompting me to “Humble yourself and apologize.” My stubborn mind begins to list all the reasons for my genuine hurt and why this is not my fault, and I can hear the Lord laughing at my silly attempt.

Have you ever seen a movie or TV show where a dating couple breaks up and one says to the other, “It’s not you; it’s me.”  Well, that’s what the Lord was saying – “It doesn’t matter what was said or done, whose fault you think it is, you need to make it right by humbling yourself.  This is on you.”

Jesus prayed as He was being beaten to death, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do.” I believe that in most conflicts, one or both parties really don’t know what they are doing. The argument becomes less about resolution and more about “my point is this.”

In Luke 10, Martha complains in exhaustion about Mary sitting still at the feet of Jesus while she runs to and fro. In my opinion, Jesus should have rebuked her, but He did not. He recognized her situation, understood her reaction, and kindly explained, “Mary has chosen the better thing…”.

In conflict, the “better thing” is the perfect choice.

When I REACT, it becomes all about me. “You hurt my feelings. You ignored what I said, It’s not fair, etc,. etc.,”  And when no resolution is sought, the hurt feeds on itself, preventing healing.

When I RESPOND as Jesus did, options, better choices, and understanding all come together to heal the relationship as genuine forgiveness is expressed.

If you find yourself in REACTIVE personality mode, take a moment. Are you tired, lonely, stressed, or angry?  When we are one or more, emotions become the lead dog and that is never good. Sort out the emotions, and you will find both peace and courage to choose your words wisely.  The mercy and grace of God can overcome anything, you know, so go ahead and let Him do so.

As my dear friend, Donna Gaines, told me, “The world is broken.  People are going to hell. If what you are presenting to me will not impact that, it isn’t important. No drama, no drama.”  I have used that many times since then, mostly on myself!

Always Expect Amazing,

Diane Strack, Founder and President




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